Couples fight about many things—but, above everything else, frequency of money disputes remains the single best predictor of divorce says Leon F. Seltzer, PhD. in an article written in Psychology Today. Also, a study by Jeffrey Dew at Utah State University found the more frequent couples argued over finances, the more likely they were to get divorced—especially if their fights occurred several times a week.
As a Financial and Couples Therapist I find this to be true. Couples are having a difficult time communicating and compromising over money. This difficulty is not because they don’t love each other or because they are incapable of communicating, they just don’t have the tools and training. Loving your partner can be an essential part of a happy marriage but it is just not enough. In fact, falling out of love is not as detrimental to the relationship if the couple is equipped with skills to cope through the low period in their marriage.
Out of all of the workshops and courses I teach one of my all-time favorites is Money Mission. I love it because it gives couples the tools they need to reduce arguments over money. Some couples have even reported that it eliminated money arguments because they can consult their Money Mission Statement to come to a logical agreement.
Money is emotional and it is driven by the past money history that each partner brings to the relationship. Most of us believe that we are approaching our money decisions logically but the truth is we are relying on our past experience to help guide us through the next financial decision. Even when we know our past experience has not served us, we still us it.
When you have to make a financial decision the first thing that happens is you have a thought about that decision, which then brings a feeling, that feeling then brings an action. This happens over and over again and becomes a habit. The only way to change the habit is to adjust the original thought and feeling that triggered the negative behavior.
Your negative and positive money behaviors are governed by your past money history which then shapes your Money Mentality and determines how you navigate the Money Cycle. If you want to better navigate the Money Cycle then you must first learn your Money Mentality and adjust it to better serve you and your heart’s desire. At Presidential Lifestyle, we define the Money Cycle as earn, grow, protect, gift, and enjoy your money. Couples who complete the Money Mission define their values and goals in each of these areas and are able to then communicate, compromise, and collaborate so that they become a winning team in love, life, and money.
The first step in the Money Mission course is to determine your Money Mentality. This is your money personality. When you take the Money Mentality quiz as part of your first online course you empower yourself by better understanding your positive and negative money traits. It can also be helpful to know your partners positive and negative money traits. Not to criticize your partner but to find ways to support your partner. This first step helps couples reduce arguments immediately, and over the 6-months of coaching there are several other tools shared to increase peace and reduce stress and frustration.
Financial stress and money arguments may be the top determinates for divorce but they’re not the only reasons couples join Money Mission. Many couples join to take their relationship to the next level, to have accountability for their goals, or to reach their full potential. Money Mission makes a great way to date your partner while learning something new. Some couples plan a special time to work on their Money Mission Statement together.
Money Mission is a combination of virtual, group, and one-on-one coaching that is designed to help couples create a Money Mission Statement to guide their financial life. The Money Mission Statement helps the couple navigate the Money Cycle to reach your heart’s desire. Some couples have big goals and are looking to create a plan and accountability to help them reach their goals.
The Money Mission is a 6-month program that only requires about 4 hours per month of time. That four hours you spend training with your partner can increase your income, savings, and overall life enjoyment. That four hours you spend with your partner can reduce stress, frustration, and debt.
Each couple who joins Money Mission receives two one-on-one coaching sessions. This is done to help the couple determine where they are, where they want to be, how to bridge the gap between the two, and lastly, track their progress and success. They can also participate live in six group coaching session or they can watch the archived video at their convenience. When the couple signs up they receive a username and password that allows them to access their five virtual coaching courses immediately.
During the Money Mission program couples can get answers to questions and assistance on conquering their most complex life goals. It can be encouraging to track your progress, see success stories from other couples, and to know you are not alone. People who complete the Money Mission program, increase their income, saving, investments, credit scores, and overall financial health, while decreasing their debt, fear, and anxiety.
Completing the Money Mission can help you feel more confident about yourself, your relationship, and your future. When you complete the Money Mission you walk away with a Money Mission Statement that can guide your daily activity, your thoughts, and your feeling about money and keep you on track. You can find out more about the Money Mission Statement in our next blog post, click here. I’ll give you an example of how the Money Mission Statement should be written and what it should include.
Curious about your Money Mentality? Take the Money Mentality Quiz today, click here.